It really has not sunk in yet that I am going to be a mommy. What has sunk in is the fact that I am going to walk this journey without my mommy.
I have only known about this pregnancy for 3 or 4 days now and have already had a couple of moments. I knew from the moment that I lost her that having a child of my own would be bittersweet. I knew this would be a challenging journey. I don't think I realized how much I would miss her during this time though. She is constantly on my mind.
I wonder what she would think about being a grandmother. I wonder what she would tell me about when she was pregnant with me. I wonder what advice she would give. I wonder so many things that I will never know.
I can only think that if the first few days have been this hard how will it be when I start to show, we see the baby for the first time on ultrasound, we feel the baby move. I can only imagine the emotions I will feel when I first hold this baby in my arms and look into their sweet face. I can only imagine that I will feel the same way my mom did when she saw me for the first time so many years ago.