I have to say that I went into today with a sour mood. I have been angry at the world all week. I have fought back tears and emotions leading up to this morning. I dreaded another Dr with nothing but bad news. I was really only going to appease my sister and husband.
Bring on ART!
Dr. Long and the team at ART were so much more thorough than anyone anywhere we have ever been. They asked questions and ran tests for things we have never heard of. We spent 2.5 hrs there going over everything from financing to treatment plans to our history to tests we could have vs should have. It was very informative. I feel like we have a good plan in place. BUT it all hinges on this one test on Feb 8th. Until that day everything hangs in the balance. That will be the moment. The one moment where we know what is going to happen.
Even as I wrote that I knew it wasn't true. God is the God of the impossible. We could get the most negative news that day and he could decide to prove everyone wrong and change it all up. Nothing is impossible. He makes the impossible possible. I do know that.
Here is a breakdown of that test. It has some acronym...SPT or something to that effect. Basically they will take the "sample" and check it with some hampster eggs. Yes, you read that right. Hampster eggs. They are, supposedly, just like human eggs minus the DNA part. We are testing the penetration. Yeah. Fun times. The results will be back on the 12th. Until that day we sit and wait.
If the results are positive we will proceed to do another IUI, inter-uterine insemination for all you newbies. This time it will be done with injections instead of clomid. That means I have to kick my fear of needles bc I am to give myself a shot each day! The bad news is that none of this is covered by insurance, so we are looking at $700 worth of meds and $400 procedure. This will be a one shot deal for us bc we cant afford a redo. Oh and there is a high risk for multiples!
If the results are negative. We are back to IVF being the only option. I have nothing to say about this now. I am not sure how I feel about it morally and it is $13000. If it comes to this I will think about it then. I am choosing to be positive right now.
-Positive test results on the 8th/12th
-Finances (on top of the cost for the IUI the test on the 8th is $400. we have a $1000 deductible we have to meet after the $1400 in our health account runs out. and then we still have to pay 20% of covered expenses. basically this is going to run us dry because not much of this is covered at all)
-Pray for a baby! That is what all of this is about. That is the desire of our heart.
-Most of all pray that we will stay in the center of God's will as we proceed.